The next Outfest Legacy Project restoration is CHOOSING CHILDREN, an incredibly moving film that inspired many LGBT people to become parents. Choosing Children was made in 1984 and was one of the first films to document Lesbian and Gay families and to challenges society’s definitions of family.
"It may be hard to remember the time when it was nearly unheard of for lesbians to have children by choice,” said Debra Chasnoff and Kim Klausner, directors/producers, CHOOSING CHILDREN. “But before 1980, if you came out, you assumed that the possibility of becoming a parent was nearly non-existent. We made CHOOSING CHILDREN to challenge that prevailing societal assumption, and look what happened in the past 25 years!” continued Chasnoff and Klausner.
CHOOSING CHILDREN is an emotionally potent film that challenges society’s definition of family by exploring the ways lesbians and gays are raising children in couples, alone, and in extended families of friends. CHOOSING CHILDREN helps people find the courage to accept themselves, love themselves and find the strength to be who they are. Since the passing of Proposition 8 in California and similar bans against LGBT marriages and adoptions across the United States, illustrations of healthy LGBT families are crucial to break down stereotypes and ensure the civil liberties of all families.
We are calling on you, to share your story of how you came to choose children and why. Thank you to those who have already shared. Read their stories below.
CLICK HERE TO SHARE YOUR STORY!
Submitted by Pat & Gloria: July 14, 2009
I wanted to have a child with my partner Gloria. After going through the usual avenues, we finally had out opportunity to have a child. Today, Terry-joy is a bright child and offers a host of opportunities to build a family bonding! We are ever so greatful that we were able to have a nan that we can pass on to!
-Pat & Gloria
South Elroy
Submitted by Diane: July 7, 2009
I had known I was gay since I was 7 years old and the one thing that always made me sad growing up was that I assumed I'd never be able to have children. I was "cute" and I also hated the way men cruised and flirted with me in a demeaning and insulting manner. My partner and I were happy and I had a great job but something was definitely missing.
It was during a course at what is now Landmark Education in around 1986 that I invented a new future for myself and my life. I began to consider living inside the possibility of "Family Redefined." I first got very clear I would in fact have children which opened up a whole world to me. I wanted boys so they could grow up gentle and compassionate and with a deep respect for women. Maybe they could set a new standard and empower others, who knows.
We adopted Tony and then Ethan, the 2 most beautiful boys ever. Ethan's was the first same sex adoption in California. We led seminars on gay adoption, we spoke at the LAGLC "Maybe Baby" meetings, we trained couples in becoming foster parents, we supported many other gay couples to become parents,and we were in the documentary "Making Babies" that was a hit at Outfest 10 years ago.
My boys are an inspiration and playing and growing with them has filled my life and kept me young.
Thank you for the work you do,
Diane
Sbmitted by Lane: July 8, 2009
Before I knew I was gay, I knew I wanted a family. As a child, I never heard gay people mentioned in a positive light, and the only gay people I knew were our interior decorator, and (maybe) the neighborhood mom that was rumored to be having an affair with one of my favorite elementary school teachers. Although I had no clue what it meant, Smear the Queer was one of my favorite games, and Gays and Lesbians with children were unheard of.
From my early teens into my twenties, I lied to myself and to the people I loved most about my sexuality, partly out of shame but also because I equated being gay with never having a family of my own. This was my reality starting at age 14: I knew who I was and I wished that I wasn't.
At age 21 in New York City, I was placing ads in the Village Voice to meet closeted men and to find a lesbian to share a family and a secret life. By age twenty-five, I was (finally) secure enough to come out and by age 32, I had made a decision to start a family on my own with the help of a surrogate. Along the way, I had very little guidance and a lot of sadness, loneliness, fear, and anxiety. I wouldn't change my journey now because I am so completely in love with the end result (Javin and Flynn), however easing other GLBT parents and want-to-be parents' journeys has always been a high priority for me.
SHARE YOUR OWN CHOOSING CHILDREN STORY HERE!
